A Cancer of the Heart

We found out yesterday that a good friend of our family has cancer.  Several months ago our community found out that a teacher and coach of our local school district for countless years has cancer.  My grandma died of cancer.  Someone you love has probably suffered from cancer.  It is affecting.  It is infecting, as it reaches its ugly fingers deep into our souls and begins to spread wide its grasp of debilitating fear, unspeakable pain, and gripping loss.  And as I sat my children down to explain to them, the tears welled in my eyes, as I look at them and know they don’t really understand, but they know it is serious enough to cause Mommy to cry, so they should take note and store this recollection for some other rainy day, when cancer will again rear its ugly head and come a knockin on our door.  For though we know not it’s next victim, we know it’s next victim is inescapable, as are the effects of it tidal waves ripping through our family, through our world, for endless years to come.

It has made me think about my Jesus.  We are in the midst of a service project at our church.  We had sign-up sheets out for a couple of weeks and very few responded.  So our pastor gives the congregation a talk, call it a guilt-trip if you will, but I say more of a motivational speech.  And the people of God’s church responded.  One member commented that guilt is a good motivator.  And though unfortunately she is very correct, I couldn’t help respond yes, but wouldn’t it be awesome if love for Jesus were our greatest motivator.

I mean think about that.  Really stop and think about that.  Imagine all the things we could do for our dying world if we simply loved Jesus enough to do what he asks of us.  Imagine all the people we could influence if we joined together and died to ourselves and took up our cross and followed him.  Not just gave verbal recognition of our love for Him, but demonstrated our love for Him in this, that we lay down our lives for our friends, for our brothers, for people we don’t even know.

But instead we as Christians have allowed Satan to implant cancer into our hearts.  And it is affecting.  It is infecting.  It is reaching its ugly fingers deep into our souls and spreading wide its grasp of debilitating fear to speak up, unspeakable pain that we refuse to share for fear others will judge us or that we won’t measure up, and gripping loss as we lose out on the best opportunity to be fully well-living a life for Jesus as the Holy Spirit fills us to the point of bursting out onto everyone around us.  Satan’s cancer has moved into our hearts and convinced us that attending church is just one more event on our calendar.

I’m tired of cancer.  I’m tired of showing up but not really getting in the game.  I’m ready to engage.  And I’m ready to fight like a child of God.