When I was a little girl, I dreamt of my prince. He would come to me, a humble nobody and place his firm hand gently in the small of my back. I would feel the warmth of his breathe close to my face as my heart would flutter and my head would swim trying to steady my legs while breathlessness whisked me toward a life I could only dream about. He would bend down, brush his hand across my cheek, and rescue me from a mundane life of toil and misery.
The dream never came true. For a long time I relinquished to the idea that it never would.
Today is our anniversary. Sixteen years ago I stood at the altar in my white dress and swore to love. That love has been hard to muster at times.
But still I love, perhaps more today than ever, but not because of anything that is in me or anything that is in you. Today I love more because God first loved me. And as I come ever increasingly into His arms, I have begun to realize that Jesus is the only bridegroom that can rescue. And we two, we are just simple, sinful human messes. We hurt each other. We neglect each other. We forget to realize the other has needs. We fall into each other only to grow selfish and fall out into a spiraling web of frustration.
Before we married, God spoke very clearly to me that He intended for me to marry you. It is that voice alone that has at times carried me through. But as I sit here 16 years into this, I realize truth to all of this.
When we first married, I thought we were a match made in Heaven. I mean, God had actually told me that, right? But now I realize that was my pretentious lie. We were never the perfect match made in heaven. You like it messy. I like it neat. You prefer blunt. I prefer polite. You speak your mind. I harbor my secrets. You love the farm. I love the city. But in our boots and pearls colliding, we have still somehow found beauty in it all, and it is for that reason that although we may not be a match made in Heaven, we are a match made for Heaven. God brought us together to grow us each individually closer to Him as we struggle to find a balance in us so we can live a life together that draws others closer to Him. I know so clearly now that if you had been my prince, I would have never sought the real one.
So thank you for your imperfections. Thank you for continuing to be the rock foundation at the center of my core raging with emotions, to calm me and bring me back to who God needs me to be. Thank you for being an amazing Father and a Godly husband. Thank you for sixteen years of leading me closer to the only one who can make me a princess. For in that, you are my knight in shining armor, a warrior for the King.
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