In a Dry and Weary Land

We watched.  And we waited.  We had been waiting for weeks and weeks.  And with each week our eyes strained harder.  Surely this will be the day.  You will ride in on the clouds and quench our dry land. 

The clouds grew darker, more promising as the day arose, and by noon we were certain Your presence was near.  But the wind blew You and the clouds on by, and our hearts once again sunk inside, weary from watching and waiting, setting our hopes on a cloud unseen.

Seven days have since passed and we’re parched evermore.  My mind tells me you were in those clouds that day, the day that now seems to have been our last hope, but my heart won’t quite follow the sound of that drum.  And though we’re living in the midst of a very dry and weary land, I can’t help but think the window to my soul paints a picture even bleaker.  But yet somehow I know, I KNOW- You are here.  In the midst of wonderings and questions and uncertainties of tomorrow, you are here.

In a matter of weeks I am downtrodden from watching and waiting for You to speak through this silent desert, and I can’t help but imagine what 400 years must have felt like.  The 400-year drought of silence.  The sound of a newborn baby who would grow up to be a prophet for His nation ceased.  And in those years, how did they feel?  Did they watch and wait diligently at first?  History proves over time they faded into self-religion.  Will we do the same?  Will we too miss the sound of Jesus’ coming as He pierces the silence with the very presence of God With Us? 

I don’t want to miss the sound of You.  I want to hear you loud and clear.  And I want to walk in Your ways, not some man-made way to life that replaces You because we believe Your seeming absence proves Your lack of compassion for your thirsty people.

I want You.  I want to soak in the riches of Your blessings, even if I do so in the midst of a dying harvest.   Is that the picture You’re painting?  As His second coming draws ever-near, are you screaming loud and clear that we don’t get it?  That we’re losing the harvest faster than our eyes can comprehend?  As we watch our corn curl further and further into itself with each passing day, are you brushing an image on your canvas creation that says this, THIS is the image of my supposed people.  THIS is what they look like as they say they love me, but choose daily to shrink ever farther away in the midst of a dry world that saps them of their energy to thrive and grow in Me?  And if this is Your message, what are we to do?  Every day as I drive past our fields, I see the inescapable end closing in, and I feel very helpless.  No amount of effort on my part could save this dying harvest.   Am I helpless in your picture as well? 

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  I am not helpless.  I can stand firm.  I can refuse to shrivel underneath the heat of the day.  I can spread my arms wide open to embrace the Son that pounds down upon me.  And I can choose to keep hanging on.  For our hopes are on a cloud unseen, but You promised it won’t be unseen forever.  And on that day, when you ride in on the clouds, You WILL quench our dry land. 

So for now I wait.  And I hold on to the Hope I have in You.  For You are good, YOU ARE GOOD, when there’s nothing good in me.  And I know the riches of Your love will Always be enough, even when death surrounds and all seems a loss.  For You are life, and in Your time You will leads us out of this dry and thirsty land.  And on that day, beneath that cloud, we shall thirst no more.

Fears, Falls, Dreams, Soar

Clothes packed-check.  Food packed-check.  Camper in tow and ready to go-check.  And the morning of patiently preparing was finally drawing to an end as we brought the bikes to the truck as the last item on the list.  I had asked Nate to bring up both of Katie’s bikes-the one that was way too little but still had training wheels, and the one that was just her size . . . but without training wheels.  And as we started to bring them to Daddy, he made a decision.  Only one bike would accompany us on this journey.  The training wheels must remain behind.

Katie was visibly upset, and if I’m honest, so was I.  I knew from several attempts before that she was terrified of the prospect of having to let go of her security.  But she braved it best she could, and we all piled into the truck and set off for our weekend getaway.

Setting up camp is hardly the same when you only have two little varmints asking to first unload their bikes so they can ride circles while we unload.  Though Daddy made certain to unload all three, the third was left behind, as Katie looked at it but quickly occupied herself elsewhere while I was wondering if we made a mistake.

Daddy made it a priority to work with her right away.  He held her up, running with her until she had found her balance, and then let go.  She’d start to waiver, fall over.  Then he’d help her back up and away they’d go again.  Holding on, letting go, falling down, starting again.  And so the cycle went.  With every try, she came closer to a dream conquered.  Then before she knew it, mission accomplished.  She was pedaling, free from restraints, free from fears.  Soaring on a dream come true.  It was a priceless moment.  Because she chose to face her fears and brave the falls, she conquered her dream.

Face your fear, brave the fall, conquer your dream.  If you could somehow open the window to my soul and peer in, you would find a visibly upset little girl, afraid to let go of her security.  But you would also see her braving it as best as she knows how, knowing that her Daddy promises she IS a priority, and He will run beside her and hold her steady as she begins to ride down this road, not knowing for sure how to keep it all going, but certain that God has a plan.

My early morning devotion today spoke this very truth.  God so earnestly desires to use my obedience to give me the life of pure fulfillment that He has planned for me, so I can be most useful in sharing His love with others.  So here’s to sharing, even if it’s my biggest fear.  For it’s only when I brave the falls that He can pick me up to try again until one day all my dreams come true.  And on that day, we will dance.  The banged-up knees and bruised souls will be healed as our Daddy who knew best all along reigns forevermore, soaring on High with me by His side.